If you work, go to school or just straight up live in NYC, the subway isn’t just your typical transportation system, it’s a way of life.
The MTA and I have a sort of love-hate relationship. We need one another, but I can certainly do without its obnoxious and inconsiderate riders. Yeah it’s cheap (depending on how many times a day you take the damn thing), but I could certainly do without the horrible, rat-infested deathtrap of homeless feces and trash that lingers below the busy streets.
Once you step foot into the city’s underworld only one thing is certain; nothing will prepare you for some of the ratchet people you will come into contact with on your innocent ride home from work. Examples are as follows…ENJOY.
- The Pole Hoggers
Feels nice and relaxing to lean on that pole and have it all to yourself, eh? Well, just as you shouldn’t take up more than one seat on a crowded subway, you shouldn’t take up more than one hand placement on a subway pole. Isn’t this common sense?! Well, if I learned anything throughout my 20-something years in existence, it’s that common sense IS NOT very common. Share the effing pole people!
2. The Last Minute Squeezers
There’s honestly nothing worse then waiting at the train station for an extra 5 minutes because people keep piling in when the doors are closing on them. Better yet, it’s your 9am commute, AKA Worst Time of Your Life, and when you think you couldn’t be more on top of the person next to you, surprise surprise, the last minute squeezers hold the doors open enough to push there way through, leaving you to lean on other people to balance yourself cause lord knows you won’t ever reach a pole.
3. The Backpacker
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on the subway and some prick has a backpack full of god knows what that sticks out a good 3 feet behind them and they’ll unknowingly swing it around and hit people with it. I always wondered where I got random bruises from…put that sh*t on the floor will you?! And no, don’t put it in the seat next to you. K thanks.
4. The One That Won’t Move to the Middle of the Train
If you walk into a subway car with 10 or so people waiting behind you and you stand by the door instead of moving towards the middle of the car, YOU are the bane of my existence.
How to not suck: unless you are the last person to get onto the train at that stop, move to the middle of the train so people don’t need to maneuver around your dumb a$$.
5. The Impatient A-holes
These creatures are beyond the worst. Something that seems so obvious goes right over all of these peoples heads. When a train pulls up to the station, LET PEOPLE EXIT BEFORE YOU START ENTERING THE SUBWAY. Is it that difficult? Holy hell.
And my final thoughts on this topic:
Read this to see what your subway style says about you.
And if you’re feeling frisky, join Improv Everywhere for the No Pants Subway Ride 2016 this January 10th in NYC…#holler
Xo, Broke & Bothered