Twice a year, every year, New Yorkers are forced to ask themselves the same question: “Why the hell do I live here?” I mean there are really only two seasons in NYC: summer and winter, and they’re both completely unbearable for most of their obnoxious stay.
I mean it feels like just yesterday I was sunbathing in Central Park, feeling guilty for staying inside half the time. Now that it’s getting colder, I feel myself slowly slipping into my hibernation stage of denial, realizing that it could be snowing during our Spring Break – 4 MONTHS from now. The worst has yet to come and I’ll never be ready.
So what do we have to look forward to? Pretty much nothing and here’s why…
- It’s essentially impossible to look cute
Picking out a cute sweater and boots used to be a fashion statement, but when it gets down to below freezing temps, choosing the right clothing becomes a life-or-death survival strategy.
2. Public transportation is a bust
In the winter months, the overall commuter mood takes a turn for the worst. Everything is effing frozen, so the trains get delayed. When trains take longer, hordes of angry people accumulate. If it wasn’t bad enough that you even had to get out of bed to wad your way through the Arctic Tundra, now you have to squeeze your way onto a packed train of miserable, putrid smelling humans.
3. Icy sidewalk sludge puddles from hell
Negative wind chills and navigating ice and snow carry their own unique form of misery. Negotiating the massive street corner slush lakes has become a New York winter staple. But I didn’t choose this life, I didn’t choose for my daily commutes to turn into Arctic expeditions. I lived in New York my whole life and will never get used to this shit.
4. It NEVER ends
The days are getting longer and my patience is wearing thin. It is during these times, when we endure months of winter knowing we still have months left to go, that even the strongest souls can be broken. But there’s always that one friend that says how much they love winter and I just sit there thinking how one person could enjoy feeling numb from below freezing wind chills and falling knee-deep in street corner slush puddles. But I have a message for those people…
All I have to say is – GOD SPEED. Oh, and don’t forget to tip your Seamless delivery bike riders A.K.A. the superheroes who bravely endure the hell trek to our studio “hibernation cave” apartments all to fill our bellies with the necessary carbs and comfort to distract us from the outside world. You the real MVP.
See you on the the flip side.
Xo, Broke & Bothered